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I Hate My Job - Part 1: Let Me Introduce Myself by Miss Lady J. author info On the kitchen table there is hash, girl scout cookies (thin mints frozen) and cold coffee. I am hating my job, the antithesis of my vocation. All those lovely words strung together on ropes get drawn a quartered as I make my daily commute to the sanitized homogeny that is suburbia. The insipid American dream come to pass. Every boring detail the job, the car, the house and two car garage, the advance degree the 2.5 kids. The bureaucratic chrome finish bullshit. I crave the after-work shot of tequila and cigarette. The hash on the kitchen table mocks me. "You sold your soul for a fucking paycheck asshole. Hey by the way how is that ulcer treating ya?" My schizophrenic lifestyle. I don’t give a shit about rules, bell ringing, dress codes or standardized testing. It is all pointless and yet this machine called education keeps on rolling down the track to suburban horrors of complacent schmucks who play the game without realizing that on one ever wins. I have lost my appetite for girls scout cookies and pregnant women. I am not interested in due dates or sonograms. Is it a boy or is it a girl? Mommy works till her water breaks a tidal wave on the class room floor. A mess. Unclean and filthy. I have lost my appetite for listening to the health problems of an over 40 coworkers who still lives with her parents and hasn’t had sex since she lost her virginity some 22 yrs. ago. I don’t care about the trials and travails of super mom with three kids working toward her masters degree teaching pat time and some how finding the time to enjoy her bible studies. She snickers in the teachers lounge “That Jew girl's going to hell!” I hate not being able to shake my ass while walking down the hallway. I would like to show up one day cleavage exposed, four inch heels, fishnet stockings, blow smoke in all their faces and resign. |
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Miss Lady J. is the goddess of all things aquatic, the tall blonde queen of vodka, Salsa Verde de la Casa Verde and an advice columnist to boot. She is a graduate of the prestigious Wendy Ward School of Modeling. Many folks think of her as a muse. All material copyright the authors, printed with permission.
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